Shana is returning to work she loves and hopes to have the support to see it through and grow her business. Heidi explores transits to the Midheaven that say "Yes" to this new chapter
Heidi,
Over a year ago, I left my job as a psychotherapist to work a desk job for my brother’s law firm. This was a pragmatic move: my family needed benefits, and the desk job provided them. After a difficult year of doing work I don’t enjoy - and the emotional complications of working for my sibling - I have realized that I really just don’t like working for other people. I don’t want a boss - nor do I want to be the boss of anyone. I have decided to return to my therapy practice. I will be part of a group of therapists that engage in consensus decision making while at the same time, I will essentially be working for myself. At times I feel excited about this upcoming change, but more often I am overwhelmed by anxieties and doubts. I struggle with imposter syndrome, I wonder if I’ll be good enough, I fear I’ll make a big mistake.... I want to bring creativity and beauty into my work with others. I want to be humble and I want to inspire. But overthinking takes over and saps me of innovation and energy. This is true in many areas of my life. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer - and while I’ve composed a few poems and stories I feel good about, this critical overthinking - the nonstop narratives - freeze my creative flexibility, stop me before I’ve even started, and convince me to stay small. I am just beginning to learn about astrology and I wonder if this has to do with my moon in Gemini? And since my moon in Gemini is in the seventh house, I will say this overthinking shows up in my partnership as well - and I am married to a beautiful soul. (I had my chart read once, almost 20 years ago, and the astrologer told me that my marriage planet is afflicted.) I am wondering how to best understand and work with this astrological placement (or whatever placements may be relevant here), and how I can get out of my own way so that I can connect to and create beauty - whether it be in my career, relationships or creative pursuits (which I see as all connected anyway...). Many thanks for considering my question!
-Shana
Poem:
"I Can No Longer Be Contained" by Heidi Rose Robbins